5/25

Just a quick update--my knee was mind-blowingly painful after Monday's run, so on Tuesday I made an appointment with a new trainer who told me not to run until I see her (she's in Michigan, so it's a couple of weeks away, but I saw her when I was pregnant and really want to work with someone who actually trains runners/women who have had babies, as opposed to the crappy trainers at Purdue who are like, who has babies? Who runs?).  Anyway.

So I took Tuesday off because I was seriously hobbling all day.  It was awful.  I had to have a hot compress to sleep because the ice didn't do a thing.

Wednesday I biked 7 miles, then came home and mowed the lawn.

Thursday I biked 4 miles but pulling 3 of the kids that time, over a hilly route against the wind.  I was taking the kids to their friend's house and was planning to bike over to pick them up, but I was so exhausted! (Plus my backside hurt because I haven't biked in forever).

Today I biked just under 7 miles, again with 3 of the kids, to the playground for a picnic.  I must say that while I know biking isn't anywhere near the workout that running is, it's sure nice to fit it in as part of my day and have it as time with the kids...

Changing pace

I've still been running (hit a nice 5 tonight that felt pretty darn great) but I haven't been blogging about it because I've found that I've been stressed about reporting on the runs.  I know it sounds ridiculous, but there it is.  My knee has been giving me a ton of pain lately (I only ran twice last week because it was hurting so much and I knew I needed to rest it before spending the weekend hiking).  I've decided that I am going to start doing my PT exercises again, only run at night when I have a ton of time to stretch and ice (as opposed to morning/mid-afternoon frantic racing-the-clock runs), and not blog about it so that if I feel like my knee needs to go 10 seconds a mile slower, I can do it without feeling the pressure of having to blog that time and thereby refusing to run it.

There's an inaugural half-marathon going right by my house this fall.  I'd like to run it, but my first priority right now is running pain-free.  

5/9

Another five on Saturday, nothing Monday (I used my running time to mow the lawn), 5 yesterday around 8:50 pace or so.  I woke up this morning and my knee was aching from yesterday's run--it hurt all day today.  I tried to run really slowly tonight--started off slow, warmed up with a half-mile of jogging, stretched, and put on my brace.  Ran to 2 miles and stopped again to stretch--hurting so bad.  Ran to 3.1 and stopped in tears; did some more stretching and a couple of PT exercises. Neil looked at my brace and told me to hike it up--it was a good 3/4 of an inch too low.  Ran another .9 miles to finish out the four and it seemed to be feeling better, although I don't know if it was the rest/stretching or the brace adjustment (I'm really hoping for that last one).

I hate hate hate this.  Not being able to run the way I want to is seriously just sinking me into this black pit of despair--my outlet; my thing that keeps me going and the thing that I can push myself and be proud of my achievements--it's become the thing I'm worst at and that causes me physical pain throughout the day.  Argh.  Can't even express how awful I've been feeling lately about running.  And now it's 11 pm and I still have to ice it and shower.  My life feels like it's rocketing out of control these days and it's driving me crazy that the ONE THING that used to give me some measure of control and allow me to metabolize all the stress has turned into this nightmare (and Neil is working so much that the only way I can exercise is via the treadmill, so it knocks out biking, swimming, aerobics, etc.).

5 on Tuesday around 8:45 or so?  Yoga yesterday, and then a regular run today--my knee was THROBBING just a mile or so in.  Like, insane pain.  I stopped at 2 miles and tried to sort of shake it out, then started again and I was dying.  Then Juliet came in with my new shoes--yay!  So I laced them up and started running--my knee felt better, but something with the brand-new cushioning made me feel like the bottom of my feet were on fire.  Really weird--I ran a mile and then stopped and re-laced them and ran another mile and it was better, but not much.  So I decided to take the time that I would normally spend on the last mile and just stretch and ice.  Sigh. 

4/30

I was hoping to fit another run in last week, but I had to perform in our ward dinner theater Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights, plus all the end-of-semester grading on Saturday.  Craziness.

Started off really slow today because I was exhausted and I had terrible cramps.  Stopped at 3.5 for water; finished out the 5.  Didn't go faster than 8:34/mile, but I'd started so slow for so long (around 10/mile for the first mile) that my average pace was only 9/mile.  I'm seriously debating whether it's worth continuing to blog this until my knee gets better and I feel like I can push harder.  I feel like running is really taking a backseat right now...I'm trying not to run during the afternoons so that I can either spend that time with my children or doing other things that would otherwise take time from my children, so by the time I finally get around to running I am drained.  I need to just focus on maintaining and not worry about getting faster or farther, I think, because right now my family needs my time more than I need to be setting PRs.  (Like my little pep talk here?)

I did order new shoes tonight--I'm really hoping that helps.  My feet are starting to ache.  And I didn't wear my brace tonight because I was too tired to deal with it...we'll see how that plays out tomorrow.

4/26

Took it slower today because my knee has been bothering me, even though I did yoga yesterday instead of running.

Stopped at 1.7 miles to put laundry in the dryer and at 3.6 miles to try to get Luke to go back to sleep (Jules and Isaac are at a playdate, so I decided to run this morning during Luke's morning nap, which is almost always a reliable 1.5 hours.  HAH!  Try 40 minutes when I wanted to run).

5 miles; 9:02/mile

the last week

Last week wasn't a great one for running; I was sick and the kids were sick, which meant there wasn't much spare time.  I ran 3 on Wednesday and 3 on Friday, and that was all I squeezed in before poor miserable Lukey would wake up inconsolable (speak of the devil!  10:36 pm and he just started crying--last night he was crying from 10-midnight and then up again at 6:30).  And as I mentioned, I was sick and a total wreck.  I spent a lot more time crying last week than running.

5 miles yesterday; stopped at 3 for water and then at 4 to get Luke--he sat on my bed while I ran the last mile. Average pace for that run was 8:41.

Another 5 today--SO exhausted.  Started running really late after a long day with sick kids (and I'm still coughing a lot, which seems to be exacerbated by running.  I really hope this goes away soon, since when I was coughing a ton last week it was pulling on the scar from my hernia surgery.  Not fun at all).  Stopped at 2 miles and at 3.6 miles for water and just trying to give myself a pep talk to keep going--my knee was aching and my back was aching on the opposite side--my legs felt like lead.  So, so, so tired!  8:50/avg pace today.